On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
