im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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