I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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