he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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