Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
