I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
