Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
