Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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