Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
