I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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