Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
