my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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