we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
