hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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