the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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