i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I didn't notice because vodka
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
