Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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