i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
