google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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