Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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