So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
