you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
