mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
