it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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