3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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