In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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