Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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