so explain again why im purple
no
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
