yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
