I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
