Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
