hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
