Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
