At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
