He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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