I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
