I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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