i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Please, let me fuck your mom
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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