Barsexuality is the new black.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
