Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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