i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
