A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
