At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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