Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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