pedialite and red bull = repair kit
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
