Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
