I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
