okay pat passed out under dana's car
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
