Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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