did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
